<originally posted on r/abortion>

“I had a late term surgical abortion (>24 weeks). This is my story.

I'm choosing to share my story because of how helpful reading all of your stories was to me, I sincerely hope that my experience will help another woman along the line. I am now three weeks out from the procedure and nearly back to normal. I'm gonna delve into a bit of background information, but if you're primarily interested in the physical experience of the surgical abortion, jump past the next paragraph.

I found out I was pregnant really late. I took my birth control (pill) daily without fail and experienced no pregnancy symptoms and wasn't showing even slightly. Not that it needs an explanation, but I have a thyroid condition as well as PCOS that made me unconcerned about the weird short periods. I went in for a routine checkup at my OB/GYN and learned I was 22 weeks along and I was absolutely horrified. I was recently married and had been drinking relatively regularly throughout the pregnancy. I also lost access to my endocrinologist and haven't been able to get a prescription for my thyroid medication, so I hadn't been taking my necessary hormones for several months. My doctor immediately sent me to the hospital to be assessed by the triage department where I had an ultrasound and learned that the fetus was a boy and he hadn't developed a brain and was diagnosed with a rare genetic defect called anencephaly. It was a hard day and when I realized that the vast majority of clinics in my state won't provide abortions past 20 weeks, it got a little tougher. I wasn't sure how I would tell our family that I was pregnant and that in three months, I would give birth to a child with a death sentence. After conducting some more research, we learned that we were pretty lucky to live on the east coast (US) as some of the only late term abortion providers were only a few hour drive from our city.

We had two choices in providers in our general area: Dr. Leroy Carhartt in Bethesda. MD, and the Dupont Clinic in Washington D.C. After researching each doctor, we decided to go with the Dupont Clinic and I would recommend their office to ANYONE in this situation. When I made the appointment, due to my work schedule, it would be 24-25 weeks and cost $8600. It would be a three day procedure of which I would need an escort for the third and final day. I received financial assistance from several non-profits as well as a substantial grant from the National Abortion Federation (NAF) to help cover the costs. My husband was not able to get the time off from his job, so I traveled alone.

DAY 1 of 3

I arrived in D.C on a Wednesday afternoon and headed straight for the clinic. The Dupont is in a discreet office building in the heart of the business district. There were no protestors or signage advertising their services, and for that I was pretty grateful. I met with some of the staff including my doula (basically a built in friend to keep me calm and comfortable), a patient care advocate (he answers all of the phones and it was nice to be with somebody familiar), two nurses and the doctor. The office was outfitted with Apple TVs in every room (Dupont provides private rooms - so you never see another patient), aromatherapy diffusers, blankets and all sorts of other necessities to keep their patients comfortable. We went over the procedure and what it would entail as I filled out sheets of medical history and consent forms. I learned that the doctor strongly believes in the calming power of some Netflix show called Moving Art - for those who haven't seen it, it's just calming videos of sea life, waterfalls, rainforests paired with background music. I have an anxiety disorder and would definitely recommend telling your provider so if you do as well. Dr. Reeves came in and introduced himself and explained that he'd be injecting the fetus' heart with a solution that would stop his heartbeat and begin the termination of my pregnancy. He explained that there was no coming back from the injection and allowed me the time to reconsider without pressure. I decided that our decision was final and although I was sad, I didn't want to cause myself, my family or my son the emotional, financial and physical trauma that losing him later would cause.

I didn't need to change into a gown and we moved into the procedure room. My doula stood by my side as the doctor was using ultrasound to check gestational age as well as find where the heart was and kept me calm by asking me questions about my life and my hobbies. Moving Art was on in this room too, it was whales which I learned is the staff's favorite part of the rotation - I liked it too. I was really nervous and justifiably upset and they gave me some AnxietEase on a gauze pad to smell which helped too. They offered suggestions for what I should do with the rest of my evening in town while the doctor injected my belly with lidocaine to numb the large needle used to terminate the fetal heartbeat. I was grateful for the numbing agent because the next needle was very large and intimidating, but I felt nothing. I should probably note that my pain tolerance is significant and was noted on by pretty much everyone who I met with. They stuck a bandaid on the injection site and when they checked with the ultrasound shortly afterwards, the procedure was successful. The nurse came then and asked me to swallow one dose of mifepristone and asked me to return the next afternoon to have dilators placed that would allow the fetus to be passed the following day. The mifepristone would soften my cervix and allow the doctor to insert the dilators more easily and with less pain.

DAY 2 of 3

I returned to the office early the following afternoon. This time, they led me into a different private room from the previous day that would be mine. My doula asked if I was still nervous and when I explained that I was, she retrieved an extra aromatherapy diffuser and set it up with the same anxiety relief oil they had let me smell the day before. She let me be for a few minutes so I could calm myself down before returning with a dose of gabapentin that would reduce some of the pain of the dilator insertion. She had me change into a cloth gown and gave me a pair of slippers. I got into the chair and they explained that it would feel like pressure. If you've had an IUD inserted before, it feels kinda like that but a little more intense. In total, they inserted five dilators (I believe they used Dilapan) and it didn't take terribly long - maybe ten minutes. For me, it felt like period cramps, but like I said before, my pain tolerance is ridiculously high, so your mileage may vary. They explained that I might get nauseous, would definitely feel crampy and that sometimes these things work a little faster than intended and I was given cell phone numbers for each staff member in case I started passing tissue at the hotel in which case the procedure would have to happen there and then. The procedure was over for the day then and they sent me with a bag of stuff to help with my anxiety induced nausea (alcohol swabs, gauze pads with more of that essential oil and mints), one gabapentin to take before bed, two prescriptions for ibuprofen and tramadol (in case the ibuprofen didn't help), and two doses of misoprostol to place vaginally one hour before my appointment time. I was asked to return at 7am the following morning with a friend to escort me back and look after me after the procedure.

DAY 3 of 3

I woke at 5am and inserted the misoprostol tablets as high as I could without disturbing the dilators at 6am. I was told not to eat or drink anything after 8pm and I was super thirsty. My friend and I left the hotel and made our way to the clinic at 7am. I was led back into the same room I had been in the previous day. They already had the aromatherapy diffuser set up for me and let me sip some ginger drink. This day is pretty blurry in my memory due to the drugs they kept me on to maintain my pain. I changed into the gown and slippers again and they took me to the procedure room where the doctor removed the dilators and explained that the day would mostly be a lot of waiting for the misoprostol to start working. I was in pain for most of the day that they kept regulated with a concoction of pain medications including fentanyl, dexmedetomidine, ketamine, tramadol, and more gabapentin. Some they gave by IV and some by mouth. Mostly it made me sleepy and I fell asleep under a blanket on the couch in my room. I had to lie with a big inflatable ball between my knees that would help move things along. Nurses and my doula came in regularly to check my pain levels, ask if I was feeling contractions and to see how I was progressing.

I began passing blood and clots an hour or so before they took me to the procedure room, but they said I shouldn't worry. In the last 30 minutes before the procedure, my pain shot up from a manageable 5 to well over my threshold. I remember a nurse checking my cervix, and removing a glove covered in bright red blood and turning to another staff member and saying it was time to go. I remember walking myself to the procedure room and breathing heavy partially to control the intense pain and also to help my anxiety. My nurse was concerned by how dramatically the pain had risen and mentioned that she knew I had to be struggling because I hadn't complained about any pain thus far. She pushed some sort of drug (unknown) into my IV as I sat down on the chair and that's the last thing I remember before waking in my room with my friend attached to IV fluids. I remember feeling guilty that I didn't get myself set up properly in the stirrups and thought of how difficult that must have been for the staff. They kept me to be monitored for the next couple of hours and some staff came by to say bye and good luck as their shifts ended. I felt sad to have to leave the clinic because they were so kind and thought of how I would miss them. After the procedure, I felt absolutely no pain. My friend asked how I felt and I was conflicted to say that I felt perfectly normal, but that's the truth. We spent the rest of the evening checking out some of the free museums D.C has to offer before she returned home.

DAY 10 - One Week After

This week was hard emotionally. I returned home to my husband and we were both sad, but confident we did the right thing as parents to our son. I felt as if I was hyperaware of children in public and watered up every time I saw a little one running around thinking about what my little guy could have been had I been more responsible. I felt and still feel guilty, although I do 100% believe I did the right thing. Pregnancy hormones were raging and my boobs hurt constantly because my breastmilk came in. I used some of the leftover ibuprofen prescribed to me for the pain. I snapped at my husband more than once for hugging me too hard and hurting my chest. I don't consider myself an emotional person, but I cried several times during the week for reasons I could never really place aside from my hormones being out of proportion. I was still bleeding bright red blood, but not super heavily, just in brief bursts that was controlled by regular ol tampons.

DAY 17 - Two Weeks After

Still sad - nothing new to really report. My boobs were still really swollen, but now they were leaking. I'm a bustier woman and every time I took off my bra (mostly to sleep), I leaked causing wet spots all down my shirts. Kinda gross/TMI but maybe it'll help someone out there. Still emotional and still seeing children everywhere and being sad about it but at least I stopped crying in public. My bleeding turned to spotting that I maintained with pantyliners. It changed in color from red to dark brown that the folks at Dupont said was normal.

Day 24 - Three Weeks After

My boobs are no longer swollen or producing breastmilk which is relieving. My hormones are slowly returning to normal and I feel much more like myself. The bleeding and spotting have stopped and my period has not returned. I intend to have another IUD placed when my period returns. I was worried that my OB/GYN would judge me for my decision, but they have been really supportive and call me to check up on me weekly. I do miss my child and I wish circumstances were different, but it is what it is and I am primarily grateful to live in a country that still respects my right to choose. All in all, I would 100% recommend the Dupont Clinic to anyone who needs an abortion. Their staff showed me kindness I wasn't sure I deserved and treated me with understanding and respect throughout the entire procedure. Their abilities to handle my anxiety and pain despite never having met me before was so refreshing. They treated me as if I was their friend and I could not appreciate what they did for me any more. Anyway, I'm sorry that this got so long, but I hope it helps someone out there stuck in the same or similar situation. Thanks for reading.”